Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
