dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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