He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
