life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize