just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
