Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize