so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize