This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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