I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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