Ambien. No doubt about it.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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