Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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