: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
