? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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