He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
