Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
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I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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