is your mom at the bar?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
