Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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