My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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