She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
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And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
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I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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