actually, I'm a sock model
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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