guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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