He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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