You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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