Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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