dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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