What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize