Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
bring money and cleavage
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
