Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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