its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Are we still banned from the library?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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