so that wasnt chicken after all
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
