Duck Duck Cougar?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
