It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
