even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
