so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You made out with two different species that night
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
