I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
