Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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