remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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