the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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