why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
