I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
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