Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
