yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
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He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
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Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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