Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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