he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
