Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
