I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
