He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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