he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
