We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
