Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
