dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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