hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
