Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
