I think I just saw someone hide a body.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
