More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
