Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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