Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
