I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize