She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
