Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that