After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
