My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
