I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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