gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
