i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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