Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
