hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
