im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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