Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
