i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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