with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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