The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize